Be careful what you wish for…
If you’re a regular social media fiend, there’s no doubt you’ve heard of wish.com. Not only that, but you may have seen some of their products and wondered, ‘who on earth would even buy that?’ or ‘what on earth were they thinking?‘ Yes, we totally agree, some of their stuff is downright weird. And we’ve spent a glorious afternoon sifting through their website to find the craziest stuff that you can buy right now on Wish.
Don’t worry, it’s somewhat safe for work.
1. Disposable Emergency Urine Bag
It’s not surprising that a lot of hikers and travellers find this product rather nifty. When you’re stuck out in the bush, the last thing you want to do is relieve yourself on the side of a tree or behind a shrubbery. It’s just so unnatural! Take the modern approach and urinate into an emergency bag filled with sweet-smelling crystals to disguise your business.
2. Adjustable Cat Blindfold / Muzzle
You know when your cat wakes you up a 3am with their pre-planned how-much-noise-can-I-actually-make test? Well, we have we found the perfect solution! Mask that pussy up with this adjustable blindfold muzzle. Experts (quote, unquote) say it eases their excitement, meaning you get to sleep soundly knowing your cat is probably doing the same. Cat not included.
3. Jeff Goldblum Shower Curtain
Allow the seductive prowess of Hollywood’s finest actor invigorate you during your morning routine. With the Jeff Goldblum Shower Curtain, you can refresh yourself in more ways than what you’re used to. As you lather up in the suds, be sure to stare intently at Jeff as he entices you with his powerful stare. But don’t get too close, though, this curtain has abandonment issues.
4. Trump KISS Kim Jong-un Tee
Celebrate 2019’s greatest love story with this highly detailed shirt of an otherwise noteworthy moment. It’s that special moment between President Donald Trump and North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un. Of course, Trump insists this is total fake news, but if this is fake then what is true? The t-shirt also revamps your friendships. Reorder yours today before it gets cens–
5. Faucet Earrings
You’ll be dripping in finesse with these state of the art studs. The Faucet Earrings are smaller-than-life earlobe enhancers that are sure to bring out any unhinged attitude you bring. Make that statement you’ve always wanted to make: you can’t tap this chick! You’ll be the talk of the party, and by that, we mean people will whisper to each other about how “good” you look.
6. Dad Bag
We get a lot of people asking us how on earth people get dad bods. We also get people screaming for a larger fanny pack. So, we’re going to help out both today with Wish’s Dad Bag. Carry all the important things in your very own belly bag while showing off your dad bod, even if it is fake. They come in an array of themes to match your tone, from a hairless gut to a foresty pouch.
7. Pyrex Handcraft Glass Oil Burner Pipe
We really don’t know why this is on the list. It’s just an “oil burner pipe”, handcrafted in Pyrex glass. It’s totally innocent. We really don’t know why people are laughing at this or saying how weird it is, or that some parents are calling for a ban on it. Some people are calling it a smoking pipe, but who would smoke from a pipe? Unless…
8. Nicolas Cage Casual Hoodies
And here comes another Hollywood icon whose face is making the rounds. This is a perfect gift for partners who are suffering from extreme abandonment issues. It’s also perfect for those who are worried their partner will be hit on by other people. Show off your creepy side to the world while revealing your unhealthy obsession with memes.
9. Soft Fish Pillow
Normal pillows are just boring. It’s a nightmare to see pillows and cushions in that hideous, standard box shape. Shake up your living room, and maybe the relationship with your cat/spouse, with the Soft Fish Pillow. The shape matches wonderfully with most body shapes and comes with a detailed imprint of an actual fish. The best part is it doesn’t smell fishy at all!
10. Hair Cutting Umbrella Cape
Watch out hairdressing apprentices, your job of sweeping up hair may soon be out the window thanks to the Hair Cutting Umbrella Cape. With this product, you’ll save 10 seconds of vacuuming or 30 seconds of sweeping. It’s also great for those who don’t like their hairdresser’s potent aftershave. Simply rock up to your salon, wave away their tacky cape and slip on this baby for a carefree trim.
Feature image: Sharaf Maksumov via Shutterstock.