Entertainment

Everything we’ve ever learnt from Netflix

In the modern world, we live by one simple rule: Till Netflix do us part.

Whether it’s a ZEfron rom com, eerie psychological thriller or that one documentary you watched for twenty minutes and haven’t stopped bringing up in conversation ever since; Netflix is the mould that binds lunchtime conversations together, strangers into friends and unlikely situations into something somewhat believable. And from our extensive streaming we conclude, Netflix mirrors society. So much so that we’ve all got something to learn.

Here is everything we’ve ever learnt (and thought) whilst watching Netflix…

‘I need that outfit’

Seasons change and so do styles, making Netflix the unofficial birthplace and resting ground for both jaw dropping and jaw breaking-ly horrible attempts at fashion.

Prime example of this? Gossip Girl. Take the iconic headband of one Miss Blair Waldorf circa season one. Think knee-high socks, plaid, preppy Kate Spade numbers in every colour, stockings and loafers comfy enough for the steps of the Met. An absolute nightmare for the same character who, a mere seven seasons later, is pictured in a baby-blue Elie Saab wedding dress screaming sophistication over schoolgirl chic.

Collage by Alissa Del Vecchio

Even Chuck gets his moment in the unfashionable sun…how could we ever forget this disaster (It’s burned into our brains).

image via pintrest

It seems keeping up with the times only leaves us feeling lost and lacklustre.

On the plus side, shows like Jessica Jones prove you can be a badass in boyfriend jeans, a plain tee and a slick leather jacket without looking like an outfit repeater…much to the distain of the cast of Orange is the New Black. Narcos‘ detective Peña, (perhaps taking a leaf out of Gigi Hadid’s new Vogue eyewear collection?) shows even the world’s most lethal drug dealers can be slain in a pair of spunky, yellow, tinted aviators.

collage by Alissa Del Vecchio

The life lesson here is clear: Dress for your own body, your own personality; and you’ll never go out of style

‘Ugh, I wished I lived in another age’

With their intricate attention to detail, and often fancy foreign accents to match, Netflix’s best period pieces including The Crown, Victoria, Mad Men, Downton Abbey and Stranger Things show us the wonders of how life used to be. You know, a simpler time…when people wouldn’t question you for owning a manor or wearing a crown to every social event?

It’s best to think of it this way, iPhones were way slower in the 80s (and also non-existent). You wouldn’t last.

collage by Alissa Del Vecchio

The lesson here is: You probably would hate living in another generation

‘Why are there so many pretty people?’

We’re not sure what’s in the wine down at the CW but every American drama show is packed to the brim with beautiful people. Dynasty, Riverdale, Pretty Little Liars, Gilmore Girls the list is quite honestly endless. Heck, The Vampire Diaries made us believe that not only is the supernatural real, but two handsomely chiselled Italian brothers can own a million-dollar town-house in non-existent suburbia, drive vintage cars and fall in love with the same girl…and then have a spin off show. Insane.

Collage by Alissa Del Vecchio

We suggest: Move to a small fictional town in the suburbs of America

‘I wish I had a gay best friend’

…or five. One of Netflix’s newest reboots, Queer Eye, is stealing the hearts and wifi of Aussies all over the country. Each episode follows the life and times of an individual who is unhappy with their current situation; enlisting for assistance in the realms of culture, grooming, design, fashion, food and wine. Aside from being the TV equivalent for Hunter & Bligh, it reminds us that not only is the world filled with kind and dedicated people, but that you can always get by with a little help from your friends.

image via Netflix

Life lesson 101: Nurture your friendships

‘That guy is definitely not your long lost relative’

It’s an unspoken rite of passage in most Netflix shows for characters to be haunted by their past, their lovers, and their wholly non-existent family members. Despite your attempts to intervene, hurling a bunch of ‘I TOLD YOU SO’s at your TV; the character always opens their hearts and homes to these ‘con artists’ and ends up with the short(est) end of the stick. Lost, Riverdale, Dynasty, Gossip Girl, How to Get Away with Murder, The Blacklist, Gotham, A Series of Unfortunate Events to rattle off a few…come on guys the world is small, but it’s not that small.

Should we really be calling this one a lesson? Get a paternity test in the first episode.

‘I could totally do that’

A wealth of knowledge and a starting point for inspiration, Netflix can be a gateway to new hobbies and interesting topics. From Making a Murderer, Chronicles of a Champion Golfer to Narcos and Suits, you can’t help but wonder whether or not you’re secretly capable of everything you’re watching. In reality you’re probably most likened to Netflix’s newest cooking show, Nailed It! – a competition where people are forced to recreate cakes whilst failing miserably.

image via Netflix

Fact:  Cooking isn’t for everyone (especially us).

‘Netflix in America is probably way better’

With Breaking Bad, Sherlock, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, The Walking Dead, Wentworth, Parks and Recreation, Scrubs, Family Guy, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Law and Order, One Tree Hill and the holy grail – the office (US) under their belt, the answer is undeniably true.

American Netflix is way better.

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